The majority of people have the potential to ‘care’, but it may just be that we are all taught different rules.

As I grew up my mother – the ‘keeper of the rules’ in our working class home insisted that we say please and thank you, ‘May I’ instead of ‘Can I’ where appropriate, ate fruit, went out to play in the fresh air, didn’t put our feet on the furniture, discouraged swearing, insisted that hands were washed frequently and faces covered when we sneezed. We all sat and ate meals at the table, chewed slowly and asked to leave the table after we had finished our meal. Being cheeky to adults, dropping litter, spitting and wearing shoes indoors was simply just not done, and as for chewing gum…

When at school – I was sent to a girls Grammar school on merit – my parents had to find money for the uniform and I had to wear it – no short skirts, no make up, no jewellry. Assembly every morning, stand up every time a teacher came into the room, desks in rows.

Any ‘values’ I have retained have probably come from rigorous enforcement through the values of society and the family – BUT, and it is a big BUT, too much discipline is not a good thing, rules without purpose are not worth having and strictness without love, caring and support is just cruelty.

I guess times have changed, although I still have rules at our home but things are probably more relaxed.

The impact of the wider society and the way it manipulates and plays to our weaknesses will always have a huge impact. Families and communities can come in all shapes and sizes – women should work if they wish and men should be able to take as great a caring and domestic role as they can. (My own dad did nearly 50 years ago.) We need more positive role models of all kinds, perhaps then will we see self discipline and cleaner pavements.